Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Problem resolution: Walking in the way of love


Jesus provides us a roadmap for problem resolution – if we will simply look to Him for guidance and choose to follow His lead. Instead, however, many individuals choose to set out on their own path to solve their own problems. Usually, that path looks like focusing on the problem instead of the cause, seeking through self-protection or self-service to deflect, avoid or divert responsibility off of themselves, and choosing the easiest solution even if that solution ultimately leads to destruction.

Our society has degraded into one of valuing individual gain at the expense of others, employing denial of accountability, and refusing to look deeper into the motivations of the heart. Avoidance is touted as the behavior of choice. We tend to embrace short term gain even if it means long term pain. We have become a culture of don’ts: Don’t make waves, don’t upset anyone no matter what is right or true, don’t challenge anyone on anything, don’t stand up for the truth, don’t even believe there is a truth to stand up for…I could continue but I believe you get the idea. Whatever you do, don’t. Shame and fear are the bases for this “don’t” position – we are afraid and embarrassed to take a risk. However, as a result, problems are not solved; problems are simply reframed, denied or avoided. This is not the stance of Jesus, Who faced His issues with others head-on. He was surely willing to confront others, to challenge others, and to stand for the truth – look at His confrontation of the Pharisees – at the cost of His life. He did not choose self-preservation or self-protection. Instead, He chose love as the reason for everything He did. He was also focused on the root causes of issues, rather than each specific problem. He looked squarely at the motivations of the hearts of those around Him, identifying the motivation of lust as causing the problem of adultery and the motivation of hate as causing the problem of murder. Finally, Jesus did not choose the easiest path, or the simplest solution, which in His case would have been to have each of us pay for our own sins. He chose, once again motivated by His great love for us, to take responsibility onto Himself rather than to deflect it off onto others. He chose the hard road for Himself, the road of short term pain and long term gain.

Ephesians 5:1-2 says: 1 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

What does it mean to “walk in the way of love”? If we are to follow Christ’s example, several components need to be in place. First and foremost, we are not able to walk in the way of love without His help and presence. He is love. Without Him, there is no love. So, we need Jesus as our partner. Second, we cannot walk in the way of love if we don’t know what love is. So, we need the truth from Jesus about love in order to see clearly what path we are to take. We need to be able to ask Him to show us what the loving thing to do is, in every instance and every choice we make. Even more globally, we need a source of all truth – the presence of Jesus within us, listening to His voice and the leading of His Spirit – or we will be easily deceived into falling back into our self-serving actions. Third, we need to seek the reasons for our choices – in other words, we need to understand the motivations of our hearts that inform our choices, and that cause our problems. Problems are rarely what they appear to be on the surface. Solutions are rarely what we first think they should be. We can see evidence of that throughout Scripture, where God’s answers to problem situations for His people are often counterintuitive or appear contraindicated. Finally, we need to align the motivations of our hearts with the truth we hear, see and know from Jesus. Simply put, we need to know the truth so that the truth can set us free.

Walking in the way of love is therefore more difficult. It takes time and energy and effort. It requires insight and self-examination. It means spending time with Jesus in quiet listening and reflection. But as the example set by Jesus shows us, the long term benefits greatly outweigh the short term costs. Spend time speaking with Jesus about each of these ideas presented here. Listen to His leading, and experience what great good comes from following His example.

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